and the autism society of Wisconsin also has some great information, and if you are in Wisconsin you can visit a local chapter for support and information.
So my sons diagnosis came late in life….for a kid. He was 15.
Thought we’ve suspected for years he that he was on the spectrum.
So I did what you do, when someone you love gets a diagnosis
I read. and read, and read till I can’t read anymore.
Then I realize we’ve been doing it right.
My son is high functioning the degree of autism varies so greatly from aspergers/high functioning Doctorate earning Temple Grandin down to people who are non verbal and severely mentally/physically disabled
But some of the things I’ve noticed from all the books I read is that the children who have more success …have more structure
1. set expectations then…follow through(they’ll get there but it’s going to take A Lot of repetition
2. practice, practice, practice
3. Teach (as much as possible) skills of daily living…every day.
4. from folding laundry(more simple) to balancing checkbooks(perhaps higher functioning autistics) as many skills that we can teach our children the more successful they’ll be in the future
5. understand and notice their melt down points, do they need noise reduction headphones, do they need special glasses to filter out fluorescent lighting
6. Give a safe place to melt down and then stick to it, …You may tantrum on your bed…not in the living room….better yet get them there before the melt down happens
7. Pay attention, learn their triggers, teach them how to avoid their triggers or deal with them…
Obviously the success of the above depends on the degree of disability of the autistic person.
Many days it’s baby steps…the same baby steps every day
Whether they are developing normally or are having difficulties
we need to meet them….where they are
that is not an easy concept
so often we expect things of our children.
Whether it’s room cleaning, putting away dishes, or packing their own lunch
We assume they should be able, or should automatically know from seeing us.
We expect them to do things we have seen other children perhaps even siblings of our child doing
and we think, say …”why can’t you do that….________ can”
I am still guilty of this
and I look back
and see expectations I’ve set that were not appropriate
and now that we have a diagnosis of High Functioning Autism/Asperger’s for my 15 year old
I know why
he was not able to do some of what were asking
he was not defiant(most of the times)
he was not cantankerous (at least not all the time)
I have spent much of the last 13 years teaching and reteaching, simple tasks, simple social skills, simple thoughts
I have noticed my daughter is much more observant about household duties than either of the boys(who couldn’t care less which cupboard the bowls go in, or how laundry is folded)
but the boys know lots of facts about world news and products( something my daughter doesn’t care about)
So it’s hard teaching a 15 year old to once again…not touch the serving spoon to the plate you eat off of
or
wash hands before getting food out of a container
or
put wet swim clothes/towels in hamper…not under bed.. for the umpteenth time
and that’s where my learning sets in
I am learning
to be patient
to reteach in different ways
watch Temple talk about Teachable moments
to be compassionate
to teach things thoughts, feelings, actions, in a way that the Autistic/Asperger’s mind understands.
in her books she is insistent that manners be expected and taught of all kids on the spectrum
that consistency is important
(yay I’ve done something right)
she also focuses a lot on teaching to how the child learns.(which some teachers are better at than others, so if you have the option of watching how teachers teach and interact you should do that before placing your child in a classroom)
Temple has so many words of wisdom in her books.
Why are her books so great??
because She has Autism…..and yet she is able to put into words the thoughts behind some of the behaviors we see in autistic children.
her doing that putting into words what our children cannot yet do helps us understand, empathize with our children….and then work in as many different ways possible to reach them and help them grow to be successful adults
it
after seeing behaviors in my son that I have questioned to doctors and teachers for a good 10 years or so ….now that we have the diagnosis ….it’s all making sense….I and my son are not going crazy….he has a neurological condition that affects the connections in his brain that changes how he sees the world compared to what Aperger/autistic people call nuerotypical people.
I don’t have a full handle on him and his behaviors, or his occasional outbursts.
(think of this book almost an encyclopedia type guide to autism spectrum, it is filled with a lot of useful information…but also a lot you may never use depending on where you fall on the spectrum)
I personally think this book would be better if split into two books,
Book 1: the information
Book 2: more of an accompianing workbook with the quizzes, charts, and diagrams
one area of the book I found most helpful and plan to print and hang copies on my sons wall
is a gray box area called: A word about strangers and Aquaintances
this is an area that seems to be pretty common from what I’ve been reading on Autism and Aspergers
people on the spectrum are often too trusting
and
have difficulty defining relationships
also included in chapter 6 are several highly informative charts about how to discern if the person you are talking to or about is a friend or aquaintance, and how to talk to and converse with appropriately
like that this book ends nearly every chapter with a concise, boxed in summary.
again not everything in this book applies to everyone on the spectrum, but much of this book applies to everyone(does that make sense?)
the book concludes with FAQ’s and resources, as well as information on diagnostic criteria, and a formal bibliography with other books you may find useful.
I decided to order this book, the other two I took notes on but this one is arranged in such a way that I want to be able to reference it more often…with my child.
It is comprised of many short “quizes” and by short I don’t think there is any quiz with more than about 5 questions
these quizes are meant to be
reflective of situations that have happened or
preparatory of situations that may happen
there are some great flow charts
sample/practice/what if dialogues
and is easy to navigate from one chapter to the next
or
to jump around as necessary
so here I am, digging in trying to learn as much as I can as quickly as I can, so we can move forward and prepare my child for the best future possible!
Yes that’s the very recent diagnosis of my 15 year old
something I’ve suspected for oh say 13 years!
because he followed the rules at school and got decent grades
but was a beast at home fairly often, was not a concern of school personal
and by the way:
we’ve referred to him as Sheldon from big bang ever since the show came out!
but I’m getting off track…
in almost every book I’ve been skimming on autism, that(different school/home behavior) is one of the most common things there is in autistics
they call it the Jekyll and Hyde symptom
you see they expend so much energy at school trying to appear normal, to perhaps not do their repetitious behavior or not speak out of turn by the time they get home they are mentally exhausted and cannot handle even the slightest stress, and they explode/tantrum/yell etc…
So what to do now??
for the last 12-13 years I have been his main source of therapy, talking about situations, and what set off the tantrum, and what he can do different next time but he is starting to need more than I can offer.
We are still waiting on the official report
so we can present it to the school, complete with suggestions for an IEP or 504 type plan.
which we’ll end up with … no idea…more later
I’ve just started wading through the books out there and one they all have one thing in common
way too much information.
OK actually just enough information
but the way some of the books present it is overwhelming to wade through
that said I have started compiling information and making small decisions of “therapy” I can start to add at home
like:
exercises in making eye contact
story sharing, what would you do if…etc…
more dialogue practicing
more review of how day went(we already do quite a bit of this…now it will be in a different way)
and that’s enough of a start for now.
look for reviews of books I find most helpful to follow in the future.
Me, A Mom 