Me, A Mom

3 kids and a dog

Archive for the category “redeeming the time”

summer summer summertime

It doesn’t seem to matter the age of the kid

from the second day of school they are looking forward to summer break

and then summer break comes

and they after a couple days

are bored

As parents we have choices

some schedule every second of their child’s life

giving them “choices” of this sport or that class

but in doing that they neglect the need of the child for downtime

for creative play

homemade obstacle courses

just sitting and reading a book or magazine

even perhaps a little extra screen time

So many over book their kids all year long

feeling it is the right thing to do

and in doing that

they forget to schedule in quality time for interaction with their parents, and friends, and just being kids

As adults we are so over scheduled

please….

let your kids be kids

while they still can

soon enough

they will grow up and

have full enough schedules

let them live

in the moment

learn creativity

let them learn how to occupy their own time

let them

be kids.

Cherish this summertime

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Fears of daily living

Look,

it’s a fact

life is full of things that can

and

do happen

you know:

“Why do bad things happen to good people”

no…autism/aspergers is not bad but it is  a huge change

a change in how you think about actions and reactions

an everyday, uphill battle at times not just for the one diagnosed but for the whole family

I digress….

When bad things happen to good people

 you buck up

you learn to deal

Image result for learn to deal with aspergers

and you go on with the daily task at hand

…living…

but once that diagnosis comes through the door

on top of multiple other medical problems and issues for that child.

and you need to start researching

and then doing

and following through

and constant checking and rechecking

there is an unending indescribable level of anxiety

am I doing enough

am I teaching enough

Image result for constant anxiety

will my actions lead to my child being able to live on his own???

only time will tell.

until then…

Image result for carry on quotes

carry on.

keeping sane

I know we are so much more blessed than so much of the world

and yet

there are days

when I wonder

where did we go wrong??

in the midst of whining

arguing

fighting

the kids seem at times almost to HATE each other

then the next day they play together all day.

no medium if they

aren’t arguing with each other

they are most surely  plotting against the parents!

but right now they are playing on games they got for christmas(settlers of catan)

and are leaving me alone…with my coffee and paper.

I relish the alone time

and yet I know

all too soon

it really will be

all the time.

and I’ll miss their “mom he hit me’s”

and

“mom she’s saying lies again”

so I guess I’ll try to appreciated right where I am

in the middle

literally

November, the month of thanks

As we watch our children grow

we can become consumed

by the idiosyncrasies

and the everyday drudgery that at times plagues us

keeping up with the schedules of everyone in the family

and still keeping up with housework

while at the same time

having little chance for

“meaningful” adult contact

or

creative/intellectual stimulation

I know it’s supposed to be all about balance

but more often or not

and

it should be this way…

the kids come first

but

as parents

we can’t forget to take care of ourselves as well.

sometimes we need a break

sometimes we need to talk with an adult

sometimes we need to read something other than Seuss

and

thats ok

because

of course I say all this to convince myself

now to stop the rambling

and tell you

pray about your interactions

with your kids

with your spouse

with your family

with your friends

with acquaintances

if your kids are not  near the top

perhaps

its time to reevaluate that list

true friends are forever

your children are with you as children…such a short time

before you know it

the amount of time you are willing to  spend with them

will become the amount of time they are willing to spend with you.

and the lyrics from cats in the cradle, by harry chapin

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin’ ‘fore I knew it, and as he grew
He’d say “I’m gonna be like you, Dad
You know I’m gonna be like you”

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home, Dad
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then
You know we’ll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, “Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let’s play
can you teach me to throw”, I said “Not today
I got a lot to do”, he said, “That’s ok
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, “I’m gonna be like him, yeah
You know I’m gonna be like him”

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home, Dad
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then
You know we’ll have a good time then

Well, he came from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
“Son, I’m proud of you, can you sit for a while”
He shook his head and said with a smile
“What I’d really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please”

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home son
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then, Dad
You know we’ll have a good time then

I’ve long since retired, my son’s moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, “I’d like to see you if you don’t mind”
He said, “I’d love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job’s a hassle and kids have the flu
But it’s sure nice talking to you, Dad
It’s been sure nice talking to you”

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He’d grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you comin’ home son
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then, Dad
We’re gonna have a good time then

Yes …..even this busy mom finds time to read

I recently read ( and reviewed) a book titled “Jewel” by Bret Lott.

and if you are at all into reading (it’s an Oprah’s book club book) I highly recommend you pick it up at your local book store or library.

If you are now or have ever dealt with an ill child that required all your time and devotion  whether that illness was acute or chronic  this book will fill your heart with all the words and emotions you think but have never quite been able to put words to.

read my review here

 

This book especially spoke volumes to me as I have 3 children,

2 of them have food allergies one to dairy, eggs, tree-nuts, and peanuts(and one just eggs, tree-nuts and peanuts)

the one with slightly fewer allergies also fights asthma and eosinophilic esophagitus.

its been a long 11 years some times

and I wouldn’t trade any of them

 

but again

 

this book gets to the heart of a mom

the sacrifices she makes in regards to her marriage, and her other children

all to help the one child get the best help possible

 

If you are a parent/mom/grandparent   or even just human

you will find yourself feeling what Jewel is feeling…..

empathizing with her

despising her

loving her

and in the end

respecting her.

 

do yourself a favor….read the book!

 

sorry piggie

was going to make bacon at Easter

forgot

so its in the oven now(apple variety)

OH and when I say I made bacon

this is the best and easiest way:

get a large sheet pan(jelly roll pan)

top it with tinfoil

lay the bacon on the pan(go ahead lay it side to side touching even and fill up the pan)

pop it into a cold oven

turn oven to 450

bake for 20 minutes

turn oven down to375 and bake till desired doneness

then yum…

eat your bacon

oh

and if you’re smart

you’ll eat yours before the kids get up!

What does a busy mom do at 6 am???

Fire up the Grill!

A coffee in hand and coals turning red

I’d rather be hitting the snooze from the bed

but turkey burgers and brats need to fry

and its hard to cook burgers when ones on the fly

running between lessons and school

getting it done is not the exception

but the rule!

I prefer #Klement’s brats as there is no MSG in them

and today I did turkey burgers but usually we do hamburgers of good quality otherwise the shrink to slider size.

so meat should last us till I can cook again.

these will be served with baked beans

I love the #bushs brand baked beans

I like to mix two of their varieties

I always use the

onion

and then add either a can of sweet mesquite, brown sugar bourbon, southern pit, or steakhouse recipe

(my personal favorite being the brown sugar bourbon)

 and coleslaw(vinegar style not creamy)

I use equal amounts of vinegar and sugar

a few dashes of onion powder

a tsp of celery seed

a dash of salt

a dash of pepper

and a half amount of vegetable oil.

then…sit back and enjoy!(taste best after marinating a few hours)

the best thing is there is no rushing around when all get home

the food is done and ready

all they have to do is EAT!

What’s 100# 5′ 4″ eats all day and never gains weight?

a teenage boy that’s what!

ok so it doesn’t help that he has eosinophillic esophagitis (EoE)

which is a condition in which white blood cells collect in the esophagus(where they should not be)

EOE causes him to not absorb nutrients properly

so after 3 years of puking every other day and then sleeping all day

after being misdiagnosed with

anxiety

stress

abdominal migraines

he finally got a diagnosis and has started putting on weight

{note to all parents advocate for your kids trust your gut and push further if something just doesn’t seem right!}

yay

but …

he is always hungry!

a bottomless pit!

I think the grocery bills have doubled since he became a teen

he eats literally all day

he eats supper and

no less than an hour or so later he is making himself a Dagwood style sandwich!

ok perhaps that is exaggerating just a bit

his is just 3 slices of bread with 4-6 slices of cheese usually!

then a handful of meat

or some crackers

Meals that used to last us 3 days now get us barely through 1

so last night I made a 5 pound boneless pork butt

from a recipe from the paper

I served it with homemade coleslaw

on rolls

with side of mashed potatoes

and guess what

they loved it! and there is enough left for at least 2 more meals

whoot whoot!

tonight will be meatloaf

and then the rest of the week should work out to be left overs!(their choice of course)

until my next post

happy eating

happy living

surviving the busy years…

So here goes I’m not perfect and I definitely don’t fit the “Stepford wife” role not in a million years….

however over the last few years as my kids have gotten older and more involved I have found some ways to make busy days easier   now if you look you can find books about cooking for a month over one weekend and then freezing everything I DON’T GO TO THAT EXTREME However I do try to several times a school year give myself a helping hand by doing the following

–   First Get yourself some meat!

buy about 6- 8 pounds of ground meat usually in the following proportions:

  • 2.5 – 3# ground beef(we prefer ground round or ground sirloin all the other stuff is too high in fat and isn’t worth it)
  • 1 # ground pork
  • 1# ground turkey or chicken breast

mix it all together and season accordingly for this mixture I typically add in

  • 2 tsp onion powder
  • 2 tsp garlic powder
  • 1 tsp black pepper

of course you could add other spices to your tastes my middle doesn’t like seeing onion otherwise I would add chopped onion and garlic then spray 1 -2 meat loaf pans(I buy enough to make 2) and pat in the meat then bake at 350 till internal temp of 165 is reached (yes I just use meat in my loafs usually…sometimes I add bread crumbs but it’s not necessary) (and sometimes I top it with bbq sauce or ketchup before baking) then with whatever ground meat mixture is left(again I make a huge amount) I fry it up in a pan (think dutch oven size) then drain the oil let it cool(for food safety reasons spread it out onto a sheet pan that is sitting on ice packs)(government food safety info on chilling food) then package into recipe size containers(or baggies) I always double bag making sure to get as much air out as possible.  then label with the date the meat was cooked and if necessary how much is the package,

-Next get yourself some pasta

in a large volume pan with a strainer insert (think large stock pot)

  • I bring 8-10 quarts of water to a boil
  • leaving the strainer insert in the pan
  • I add one package of pasta
  • stir it around
  • turn off the heat
  • let it sit for 9 minutes
  • the I drain it
  • rinse in cold water
  • and package into a gallon size ziplock bag
  • then double bag and label it

turn the heat back on and … repeat I sometimes cook up as many as 8 or so boxes of pasta(this works with all types of  pasta from regular wheat to rice pasta) then freeze it!

– make a double batch!

If I am bothering to turn the oven on and using the energy to bake/cook I make double batches or fill up the oven space

  • boneless skinless chicken thighs are inexpensive I buy 6 packages pour on bbq sauce bake till it falls apart and then freeze half
  • beef roasts and tips, I buy 2 or enough for 2 main meals cook it all at once and freeze half
  • when freezing precooked meats its important to portion it out for the recipes you need
  • and get as much air out of around the product as possible
  • freeze in a flat short layer,  it will reheat faster
  • make sure always when reheating to heat to food safe temperatures

check out the governments food safe cooking temp chart if you are unsure   I am also lucky enough to have a small garden I make freezer pickles(they are very refreshing) and last long enough to get us to when cukes are once again growing in the garden! and I have relatives that  freeze and can  jams and jellies, soups and veggies, pickles and fruits   Regardless your situation think about the foods your family likes think about your schedule and know that even having a few extra meals in the fridge can help out if you are suddenly busy or if an emergency strikes and you are not able to cook you’ll have everything you need prepared ahead and if you’re like me and the kids have food allergies package a few meals for individuals that way if they are home with someone not familiar with cooking for allergies you’ll be comfortable knowing there is safe food available! happy cooking… and eating…     t

Let it Go…(Really I don’t have to run the show??)

(originally posted on my book review blog)

Let it Go 

How to stop running the show and start walking in faith

By Karen Ehman

As parents but mothers specifically there seems to be a desire (in many parents)to live for our children

and be so involved they don’t have chances to

make choices

make mistakes

live for themselves(note I’m not saying selfish though they  may be)

In “Let it Go”

Karen takes us

from micromanaging to mothering

from being over-involved to learning to let go

complete with questions/answers at the end of each chapter  “Let it Go” would make a great book club for moms book

Check out Karen’s Website for more great information

now I must confess I am not much of a housewife

but.

I do find myself hovering in other ways

part is do to the kids food allergies and as a  parent the fear that accompanies that.

but

part of it is personality

wanting to be everything to everyone

then

getting burned out(which is good for no one)

Karen’s book walks you through the ages and stages of letting go.

in her book she quotes Psalm 62(among other bible passages I will end with that passage here:

Psalm 62

Song of Trust in God Alone

To the leader: according to Jeduthun. A Psalm of David.

For God alone my soul waits in silence;
    from him comes my salvation.
2 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
    my fortress; I shall never be shaken.

How long will you assail a person,
    will you batter your victim, all of you,
    as you would a leaning wall, a tottering fence?
Their only plan is to bring down a person of prominence.
    They take pleasure in falsehood;
they bless with their mouths,
    but inwardly they curse.Selah

For God alone my soul waits in silence,
    for my hope is from him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
    my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
On God rests my deliverance and my honor;
    my mighty rock, my refuge is in God.

Trust in him at all times, O people;
    pour out your heart before him;
    God is a refuge for us.Selah

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