Me, A Mom

3 kids and a dog

Archive for the category “deatj”

Addressing Death: And the questions children ask

Death

is a hard topic for parents,

but one we must face

relatives die, friends die

and even if it’s the grandma of a school mate that dies

questions often come home

Your response will be key to your child’s growth and development

Do not hide death from your child

when you do

you are taking away their chance to experience the ultimate in life

Grandpa didn’t move to Florida….he died

Grandpa didn’t go to sleep(this can make them afraid to sleep) he died

If you come to terms with your grief in a healthy way …so will they.

Children inevitably have questions

my oldest for example

had questions about the different parts of the body and what happens to them when we die

my middle child had similar questions but also expressed feeling sad

and my youngest wanted to share memories of the person.

How did I (and How should you answer questions???)

Be honest, its ok for kids to hear that “I don’t really know why this happened”

Be direct (grandpa’s heart was old and weak and it stopped working) or

(there was a terrible car accident and____ was hurt very badly and died)

Ask for clarification, you don’t need to go into great detail, follow their lead

they may be ok with

      – his heart stopped working

or

they may want more detail

ask them to rephrase their question to make sure you are understanding what they are asking

tell them you love them

tell them God loves them

tell them they can ask you anything and you will do your best to answer or find the answer

as a catechist one thing that brings out discussion “what happens when you die” is lent and the discussion of the crucifixion, Resurrection, and ascension of Jesus

you are not alone, there are doctors, pastors, teachers, and counselors who can help you

and

there are resources for kids out there

here is a link to one great list I found from the national association of school psychologists

another When Somebody Dies

and

Talking to children about Death from the partnership for children

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